I spend about four hundred and forty five seconds looking at myself in a mirror everyday. You want to know why? Well, it might sound surprising, but for me, a mirror is like a memory sieve; I look into that damn piece of glass, and flashes of my past rattle in the corridors of my mind like the sails of a boat stuck in a storm.
What does the mirror show you, anyway? That pimple that’s threatening to disfigure your face forever? That arbitrary arrangement of hair on your head that doesn’t ever go away whatever you do to it? That female on the charming poster reflected in the mirror you wish had fewer clothes on? Well, lots of things! But, what amazes me most is that some times your mirror is the only thing that brings a smile on your face that day!
So as I stare into my mirror at this moment...
*
[The First Flash]
Four guys are staring at an advertisement which promises scholarship to all the Parsi students at IIM B. One of the guys turns towards a shabbily dressed guy who in turn is busy watching the stylish movements of a blue skirt floating in the corridor.
“Hey! Did you apply for that scholarship?” he says, pointing at a piece of paper stuck on the notice board.
“What?”
“There is this Parsi Association that is awarding scholarships to guys like you!”
“Guys like me? As in, jokers in life?”
“No, Parsis!”
“What? I am no Parsi!”
“Cut the crap... You are Parsi! Who the hell has a name that ends with ‘Gurazada’? You are Parsi man!”
[The Second Flash]
“Hey, Pavan. Is it true that you are not a Parsi?”
“Yeah!”
“Oh... how surprising! With your long, pointed nose, and other features, I felt you were one!”
“And my name ends with ‘–ada’ like all the Parsis in this world!”
“Yeah!”
Someone wishes he was that pile of dung he almost stepped on that day!
[The Third Flash]
“You know Pavan, you remind me of some arbitrary cartoon character. Unfortunately, I can't remember that cartoon right now!”
“Have you heard of Bugs Bunny?” I hear myself say.
“I can also put up some comic faces to help you out,” I continue, this time pushing my always-anxious front teeth out and enact a bunny ‘doing’ another. The act comes out surprisingly well.
“No, Bugs Bunny is way too cute to be like you!”
Someone drops his act, chokes on a load of fresh air and dies.
[The Fourth Flash]
A bunch of people are seated at a dinner table engaged in small talk. One guy in particular, is over enthusiastic as usual.
“Hey, do you think I am arbit?” he says, suddenly.
Platoons of guys from the three nearby tables turn and start laughing.
“Shit! Did I say it out that loud?” he says lowering his head, and stares at the pile of green mess in his plate.
“Man, its better being a Parsi than being arbit!” he thinks.
*
I turned away from the gruesome images splashed in front of me, as I realized that my mirror has played spoil sport with me once again.
I felt the uncontrollable anger swelling up inside me, and in that burst of emotion, I picked up a stone and hurled it at the shining piece of glass that showed me things I wished it hadn’t... And at this moment, I swear on the broken pieces of glass strewn before me that I am not going to look into a damn mirror ever again!
